I have the unfortunate distinction of being what people disgustedly refer to as a "smoker." Personally, I prefer tobacco inhalation enthusiast -- but idiot works just as well. For more than half of the time I've been breathing under my own power, I've felt the need to periodically interrupt the life-giving flow of oxygen with a delicious, but cancer-causing mix of carbon monoxide, nicotine, and tar. Sure there are gums and patches and even pills that can supposedly help you kick the nasty habit but, I'm a twenty-first century man, and I need a twenty-first century solution. Enter
