Apple earnings calls always create a bit of a three-ring circus on the web. Everyone tries to read into every last boast and stutter out of the mouths of Apple management and predict the future.
We do plenty of that here at TUAW as well -- you can check out all the hard numbers from the call on our wrap-up post -- but while the rest of the staff puts on their thinking caps to dissect the transcript, I figured it would be easier to just run a bunch of the most notable quotes from the call through my handy dandy AppleSpeak Translator 4000. Let's check the results!
Tim Cook: "We're pleased to report a strong finish to an amazing year with record fourth-quarter revenue, including sales of almost 34 million iPhones."
Translation: "O
